February 3, 2011

Neuroses Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition, Kind of, Maybe

Ever since I published that post about dealing with stress, the number of pants-less incidents involving my husband has been steadily increasing. It seems that by confronting the offense with MS Paint illustrations, I've only challenged him to take his pants off in more and more inappropriate contexts. So this is all my fault, really. It's kind of like how there were no super-villains in Gotham before Batman started fighting crime. Now I'm fighting crimes that I indirectly created. I'm sorry, world.

He used to limit his pants-lessness to the privacy of our apartment, but he's starting to branch out. Like that one time at Mel's house, when he pulled his pants down and raced around the living room on a broomstick after he finished submitting his students' final grades.

Or that time at his parents' house when I gave him a pair of long underwear as an early Christmas present, and he was so excited that he, without pause, stood up and changed into them in front of Michael.

Or that other time at his parents' house on Christmas Eve when he took he pants off just to see if anyone would notice.

Now that we're back at school, he doesn't have as many opportunities to pull his pants down in front of other people. He's compensating by mooning me every chance he gets.

And occasionally putting on a pair of my underwear and walking into the kitchen to show off.

You may have noticed that Isaac isn't wearing underwear in any of these pictures.

No wait... He is wearing underwear, I just mean, you know, it isn't visible. Like, he's wearing pants on top of his underwear.

I was going to include pictures of him without pants on, but I thought better of it and censored them out. I did this for two reasons. One, I think the internet has had enough of Isaac's underwear. And two, I don't want to start the no-pants cycle over again. More pants-less pictures will only encourage more pants-less incidents, so I've replaced the underwear pictures with pictures of behaviors that I want to encourage, like doing the dishes, writing studiously with pants on, saying sexy things in French, accidentally losing a game of Go for once, and making me balloon animals. For instance.

(I want a giraffe. Poodles are for weenies.)

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