November 21, 2014

January 31, 2013

Because the world needs an update on my sleeping habits:

Remember how I used to plan out strategies for not waking up in the morning? That was a long time ago.

Now, my life is weird, and I wake up at an absolutely unreasonable hour so that I can get online to tutor students who are 14 hours ahead of me. So while I used to wake up like a French aristocrat being dragged out of bed for the guillotine, I now face the morning with all the mettle of a superhero facing his arch-nemesis.




Yeah. AND I wake up TWO OTHER PEOPLE. I wake them up, you guys.








After spending the first 7-ish hours of the day like this, opening my eyes and mouth too wide while I act super friendly and engaging for ESL students,


I'm usually ready for a nap.

And in case you're starting to think that I'm actually growing up and managing my sleep like an adult, don't worry, I'm still completely irresponsible when it comes to napping. 

This irresponsibility often comes in the form of crazy alarm clock math,


self-deception,


and outstanding defense.



But overall, I'd call this progress.

June 17, 2012

Thanks, Big Bang, for ruining the word "fantastic."

The kids are all like, "Teachuh, I don't do homework."
Then I'm like, "Fantastic."
Then the ENTIRE CLASS is like,


I HOPE YOU DIE, BIG BANG.


June 12, 2012

A run-in with the cleaning lady

I've never been at ease around the cleaning lady at my school. Despite the fact that she is adorably affectionate and grandmotherly with my students, I'm a little bit scared of her. For one thing, she is wholeheartedly devoted to the ajumma uniform, and you may recall, few things frighten me more than an ajumma in a visor. Also, one time, she happened to see me accidentally step into a garbage can (I'd like to explain why, given the circumstances, it wasn't such an outrageous thing to do, but no amount of explanation can do justice to just how not outrageous it was), and she kind of cackled at me and said something in Korean, which I assumed to be something along the lines of, "And you teach our children?"

Yesterday, as I herded my class into the bathroom, she walked past and paused momentarily in front of me, resting her hand on my necklace and softly saying, 

Now, when an already-scary old lady touches my neck and mutters something in a foreign language, normally I would go crazy imagining all of the horrifying things she might have said to me.





But that didn't happen this time! Because just twelve hours earlier, I had spent the evening aimlessly studying Korean and I just happened to learn that 예쁘다 means "pretty" and not any of those horrible things. Less than a full day after studying a word, I was forced to use it in real life. Pretty convenient timing, if you ask me.

Almost too convenient.

Given this turn of events, I think I'll cancel my plans to learn how to say, "Help! I'm being assaulted!"



June 9, 2012

In which a third-grader questions my judgment

Here is what I wrote on Joon's report card:

"...Joon is a kind, happy student, and he seems to enjoy learning, but he needs to work on paying attention in class."

Then, two weeks later, this happened. It happened exactly like this.